Welcoming Mom or Dad Home: A Guide to Caring for an Elderly Parent

“Welcoming a parent into your home is more than an act of love; it’s a journey of mutual respect and cherished memories. Together, we can create a space where dignity, independence, and compassion thrive”.

So, the time has come. Your parent, who can still manage daily tasks but isn’t quite able to live alone anymore, is moving in with you. This transition is a big step for both of you, filled with mixed emotions and a need for some adjustments. Here’s how to navigate this new chapter while ensuring your parent feels respected and cherished.

Making the Move Smooth

Create a Welcoming Space: First things first, make sure your home is safe and comfortable for your parent. Think about small changes like adding grab bars in the bathroom, ensuring there’s plenty of good lighting, and removing any tripping hazards. Set up a cozy, private area for them to retreat to when they need some alone time.

Talk It Out: Sit down with your parent and have a heart-to-heart about their needs, preferences, and any worries they might have. It’s important to involve them in decisions and make sure they feel heard. Discuss how daily routines will look, what help they might need, and how to maintain some boundaries to respect everyone’s space.

Establishing New Routines

Daily Schedules: Consistency is key. Create a daily schedule that blends your parent’s usual routines with the new caregiving tasks. This could include regular meal times, medication schedules, and favorite activities like gardening or morning walks. For instance, if your mom loves knitting, make sure she has a well-lit, comfortable spot to continue her hobby.

Communication Systems: Stay organized with a shared calendar for appointments, medication times, and social events. Regular check-ins, even just a quick “How’s your day going?” can make a big difference. This keeps everyone on the same page and reassures your parent that you’re there for them.

Respect and Independence: Encourage your parent to do what they can on their own. Offer help when needed, but always in a way that respects their independence. Celebrate their contributions and cherish the wisdom they bring into your home. It’s about finding that balance where they feel capable and respected.

Juggling Work and Caregiving

Work Flexibility:
1.If you’re working, explore flexible arrangements with your employer. Many companies offer remote work, flexible hours, or other support for caregivers. Efficient time management tools can help you stay on top of both work and caregiving duties.

2. If you work from home, discuss with your parent your schedule and possibly a signal (A bright color note on paper or a sign) you will place outside of your door or workspace to let them know when you are in meetings or working on a serious project. That way they will know when you are not available during the work day, unless there is a serious emergency.

Sharing the Load: Involve siblings or other relatives in caregiving tasks. Create a family schedule so the responsibilities don’t all fall on one person. If possible, hire professional help, like a part-time caregiver, to ease some of the workload.

Keeping an Eye Out

Safety Check-ins: If your parent enjoys going out for walks or visiting friends, set up a simple check-in system. A quick call or text when they arrive and before they leave can provide peace of mind. Equip them with a mobile phone or an emergency response system for added security.

Health Monitoring: Regular medical check-ups are essential. Keep an eye on any changes in your parent’s physical or mental health. Have a list of emergency contacts and important medical information readily available.

Building a Supportive Network

Community Engagement: Encourage your parent to stay active in the community. Senior day centers, church groups, and local events can provide much-needed social interaction and a sense of belonging. For example, if there’s a local senior center that hosts weekly bingo games, it could be a great way for them to meet new friends and stay engaged.

Support for You: Remember, you’re not alone in this. Join caregiver support groups, either locally or online, where you can share experiences and advice with others in similar situations. Seeking professional counseling can also be helpful if you ever feel overwhelmed.

Bringing a parent into your home is a journey of love, respect, and adjustments. By establishing clear routines, maintaining open communication, and tapping into community resources, you can ensure this transition is smooth and fulfilling for both you and your parent. And remember, it’s okay to ask for help and lean on support networks—caring for a loved one is a shared journey, not a solo endeavor.

Several websites that provide valuable resources and support for caregivers:

1. AARP Caregiving

• Website: AARP Caregiving
• Description: AARP offers a comprehensive range of resources for caregivers, including guides on financial planning, legal issues, and tips for managing daily care. They also have a supportive community forum.

2. Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA)

• Website: Family Caregiver Alliance
• Description: FCA provides information on caregiving across various conditions, offers support groups, educational materials, and advocacy for caregivers. They also have a national center on caregiving.

3. National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC)

• Website: National Alliance for Caregiving
• Description: NAC focuses on advancing family caregiving through research, innovation, and advocacy. They offer extensive resources, including research reports and policy updates.

4. Caregiver Action Network (CAN)

• Website: Caregiver Action Network
• Description: CAN provides free support, education, and resources to family caregivers. They offer a caregiver help desk, peer network, and practical tips on managing caregiving challenges.

5. Alzheimer’s Association

• Website: Alzheimer’s Association
• Description: This organization offers support specifically for caregivers of individuals with Alzheimer’s and other dementias. They provide a wealth of information, a 24/7 helpline, and local support groups.

6. Eldercare Locator

• Website: Eldercare Locator
• Description: A public service of the U.S. Administration on Aging, this site helps connect caregivers to local services and resources. It includes information on transportation, housing, and health services.

7. Caregiving.com

• Website: Caregiving.com
• Description: This community-oriented site offers blogs, podcasts, forums, and a wealth of articles written by and for caregivers. It’s a great place to connect with others and share experiences.

8. Next Step in Care

• Website: Next Step in Care
• Description: Provides guides and checklists to help caregivers manage transitions in care, such as from hospital to home. It’s a practical resource for managing medical care and understanding health systems.

9. CaringBridge

• Website: CaringBridge
• Description: A platform where caregivers can create personal websites to share updates, organize help, and connect with family and friends. It’s useful for keeping everyone informed and coordinated.

10. National Institute on Aging (NIA)

• Website: National Institute on Aging
• Description: Part of the U.S. National Institutes of Health, the NIA provides extensive information on caregiving, health issues, and aging research. It’s a reliable source for scientific and practical guidance.

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